How many days and nights have passed, I do not know – but the never changing fact is that I’m still looking for you. I search for you in the wildflowers, in the butterflies I see. I look for you in the stars at night, and as the sun rises and sets. I am always searching, my heart longing to hold you in my arms once more.
Today I missed you.
This is nothing new. I miss you every minute, of every day. But today was hard for no particular reason at all. It just hurt.
Today I cried while going through photos of you. Today I asked the unanswerable question “why”
Today, I wanted to scream, to cry, to break things… I wished to set fire to the world, because it is not home without you. I know none of that would make any difference though. It won’t change the outcome.
It wont bring you back to me.
I long to hold you in my arms once more. To kiss your sweet forehead, and play with your hair. I wish desperately to see you smiling, grinning, sticking your tongue out at me. I long to wrap you small hands in mine and keep you with me longer.
If I had a million dollars, all I’d want to buy is more time.
So today, I missed you.