Airport thoughts & home reflections

Asia has recently begun sleeping with her head on my chest. It is abnormal…. this cat has always slept under my arms, behind my legs, or directly on my chest – but never with just her head on my chest…. she began doing this as we bounced around last week… perhaps it is her coping method to uncertainty. Either way; she’s the most adaptable cat I’ve ever met. In the matter of one week, she was in 5 different places, travelled in 4 different cars, lived in 3 different houses, went through 2 airport terminals, a security checkpoint, was in 2 different provinces – and still, she rolls with it as if she’s seen it all before. Maybe that’s just how she is, or maybe a piece of her knew I needed her to be calm in the times I wasn’t. I’ll never know, but if the only change after all of that is her falling asleep listening to my heartbeat…. what greater love could I ask for?

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What a strange two weeks it has been… full of endings, and beginnings, returning home from the beauty of the mountains.  Although that change didn’t work out the way I planned, I have a sense of peace knowing that I stepped out of my comfort zone. A comfort zone in which I have been safely residing for many years… and you know what? It didn’t kill me. Change is scary, and hard, and uncertain – but I came through it with a new appreciation for myself, and my ability to determine what is best for me. I learned how to stand on my own, how to meet new people, how to travel alone – and my severe anxiety disorder and I, we made it. With trembling knees, and a pounding heart, we did it. We conquered fear gently, one step at a time.

Red-eye flights leave you lots of time for reflection, and as I took a last look at the mountains as the plane reached for the sky, I know that things will work out the way they’re suppose to…the way they always do. This experience has taught me more about myself than I really understood until now.  But my goodness, it’s good to be home. My mind and heart have always been a travelling spirit. I love seeing new places, and experiencing the beauty the world has to offer – just as much as I love the comforts of home. The never changing town, the sweet smell of horses, and the comfort of my own bed. Things feel much more settled here, as do I.

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I don’t think you ever realize how much you miss a place, or the people in it until you’ve been gone for awhile.

Things I accomplished while in BC:

–  bought and sold my first car
– hiked up a mountain,
– saw waterfalls
– put my feet in the Pacific Ocean
– made new friends
– walked into a room full of strangers and left with friends
– Stood up for myself
– Got a little more comfortable being uncomfortable
– Explored places by myself
– Navigated around Whistler without getting lost (eventually)
– Travelled alone and enjoyed it
– Remembered to call my mother
– Stayed sober

And now, I wait as the next chapter of life unfolds. Things happen for a reason, and it’s exciting to see the world of possibilities.

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